i've been involved with a nonprofit organization called surfrider. the essence of this group is that it was developed by a bunch of surfers in california to protect the ocean. surfers are a selfish community, it's all about their wave, their break, blah, blah, blah...but also, there's another side, where it's about connecting with nature, sharing their stoke, playing like kids, which is the side that i connect with.

on saturday mornings, i'm volunteering the hawaii girls' court with a program called, spirit sessions. i serve as a mentor, where i teach them yoga and work one on one with a girl who's been involved in some kind of trouble. she was terrified of the ocean, resistant to going in and so we spent the entire morning watching the waves and talking story about surf, and exchanging our deepest darkest secrets. she started to open up and soften a little. taking baby steps into jumping into the ocean...to be cleansed of her past.

yesterday, was a monumental day in teaching monks from bhutan how to surf. this was the second time that we had taken them out. laughing and smiling was the universal language. these monks were so trusting, coming from bhutan, some of them could not even swim or speak english, ready and willing to float in the craziness of waikiki. my stomach muscles hurt so badly from laughing so hard.

then we went to their prayer session at the honolulu academy of arts. they lead us in chanting for an hour and were available for any questions that we had. the monk that i was watching over, referred to me as his teacher, was the one who made the sand mandalas. they are beautiful colorful intricate designs made out of sand. he had me come over and taught me how to do it. pinching a small amount of sand between your fingertips and letting the sand slip through ever so gently, not grasping too tightly or letting go too loosely, another meditative practice learned.

the next lesson was how to do prostrations. a form of prayer, using the whole body, holding your hands in the shape of a budding lotus, starting from the top, symbolizing your body, to your throat, symbolizing your voice, then to your heart and down to the floor. this practice allows one to cleanse and purify your past and future.

then off into the surf, playing with friends and yet also all by myself. i am so full of gratitude that i have the ocean to teach me such profound lessons. go with the flow...

~namaste

when this card appears in a reading, it indicates a time of movement and change. it may be a physical movement from one place to the next, or an inner movement from one way of being to another. but whatever the case, this card promises that the going will be easy and will bring a sense of adventure and growth; there is no need to struggle or plan too much. the traveling card also reminds us to accept and embrace the new, just as when we travel to another country with a different culture and environment than the one we are accustomed to. this attitude of openness and acceptance invites new friends and experiences into our lives.

life is a continuity always and always. there is no final destination it is going towards. just the pilgrimage, just the journey in itself is life, not reaching to some point, no goal-just dancing and being in pilgrimage, moving joyously, without bothering about any destination. what will you do by getting to a destination? nobody asked this, because everybody is trying to have some destination in life. but the implications...if you really reach the destination of life, then what? then you will look very embarassed. nowhere to go...you have reached to the final destination-and in the journey you have lost everything. you had to lose everything. so standing naked at the final destination, you will look all around like an idiot: what was the point? you were hurrying so hard, and you were worrying so hard, and this is the outcome.

"the queen of fire is so rich, so much a queen, that she can afford to give. it doesn't even occur to her to take inventories or to put something aside for later. she dispenses her treasures without limits, welcoming all and sundry to partake of the abundance, fertility and light that surrounds her. when you draw this card, it suggests that you too are in a situation where you have an opportunity to share your love, your joy and your laughter. and in sharing, you find that you feel even more full. there is no need to go anywhere or to make any special effort. you find that you can enjoy sensuality without possessiveness or attachment, can give birth to a child or to a new project with an equal sense of creativity fulfilled. everything around you seems to be 'coming together' now. enjoy it, ground yourself in it, and let the abundance in you and around you overflow.

i've been playing in the country a little more, just to get a different feel of the island. surfing lots of random different breaks and meeting lots of old living legend surfers. it's a whole different world. i surfed holten's, and a couple of breaks out in mokuleia, the northern most end of the north shore. i did a morning session at this break called "sunset". have been feeling melancholy this past week-end. the weather doesn't seem to help either. it's been gray and rainy. i can't believe i survived seattle for as long as we did :)

anyway, good size waves...feeling a bit more confident surfing bigger waves. and then i decided to catch a wave that i wasn't supposed to. i got a chance to be up close and personal with "boneyards". extremely reefy...the white wash decided to drag me up into the reef chest first. blood everywhere. i look like i got into a really bad cat fight, a cat with a 100 claws. lesson learned. and then to top it all off, i caught a 10 foot wave after it. funny how life works.

surfing has been a nice escape for me here. it has made me face some of my deepest fears. it has made me strong. and yet it has allowed me to surrender and to be humbled on so many levels...

"thank you, single fin for all that you are, all that you have given me, all that you have inspired in me, and all the strength & confidence you have instilled within me."

much love & alohas...

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

the surf is picking up, finally. winter is the season, apparently. gonna buckle down and get a wet suit, at least 1/2 a one.

i'm off to thich nhat hahn's meditation retreat outside of san diego today. i am looking forward to finally meeting him. 'been out of meditation practice lately. my monkey mind has been jumping all over the place :) it'll be nice to "just be."

doing the facebook thing, for fun. single fin & i are on it if you'd like to hear more day to day quickie updates of our lives. would love to hear from you all.

i'll write more once i come out on the other side...much love and alohas to you all.

xoxo's,
soul sista'

and life here in hawaii has been truly magnificent, as always. same old, same old...good surf, warm water, cool tradewind breezes, people full of aloha, simplicity at its finest. babies popping out left and right.

spending some quality time with single fin on the mainland last week for a couple of weeks. we went back to see our family on the east coast. it was a time to acknowledge our roots and pay respects to our family. grandma, whom we lovingly named single fin after, has moved onto the next life. she is in our hearts everyday. a strong woman who taught us to never give up, when you feel like you have all the odds against you. she had a big heart and always gave to everyone, except herself. she taught us the essence of true love.

then off to my naturopathic convention in palm springs, california. all i can say is that it is soooo hot there. 110 degrees of dry heat! ugh. good to see the colleagues. it amuses me that this is my 'ohana at times. and yet, also, i am so full of gratitude that this is my community and that we are so passionate about our medicine. i couldn't imagine doing anything else for my life's work.

surfing and exploring in san diego area. hanging out in little coastal beach towns, surfing the teeny, tiny beach break. it was good to play and laugh with single fin, my best friend, my partner in crime, my loving hubbie.

just getting back into the swing of things here, before i take off again to LA. lots of change in the air...one day at a time.

much love & aloha to you all!

"may this day bring you
a perfect ride on a perfect wave
a tale to tell
a memory for life.."

"the things we love to do
define us
inspire us
remind us who we are"

"in play we re-create
live life out
breathe life in
we pray in our own way"

"our bodies become instruments
improvising the sweet songs of our souls"

www.thespiritbooks.com

her touch is gentle, reverent, and the white on the inside of her cape reflects the purity of her heart. she is humble, simple-and that is the right way to approach nature.

nature doesn't bang any drums when it bursts forth into flower, nor play any dirges when the trees let go of their leaves in the fall. but when we approach her in the right spirit, she has many secrets to share. if you haven't heard nature whispering to you lately, now is a good time to give her the opportunity.

you just look around, look into the eyes of a child, or into the eyes of your beloved, your mother, your friend-or just feel a tree.

have you ever hugged a tree? hug a tree, and one day, you will come to know that is not only that you have hugged the tree but that the tree also responds, the tree also hugs you. then for the first time you will be able to know that the tree is not just the form, it is n ot just a certain species the botanist talk about, it is an unknown God-so green in your courtyard, so full of flowers in your courtyard, so close to you, beckoning you, calling you again and again."

a nice week-end, so far. a balance of randomness, as always. yesterday, i started my day with my manoa falls hike. i climbed up the banyan tree towards the third waterfall. my waterfall hikes feed my soul & spirit on such a deep level. i am pretty much climbing up the banyan's trees branches and roots, stretching & reaching from one crevice to the other. not completely dependant upon one limb, completely all stretched out on fours. this is truly my yoga in motion. strong, yet soft. looking down every so often, acknowledging that at any moment, one slip up could be a plunge off the edge. i don't know if it's the daredevil act of walking the fine line of life and death at times. or is it because it makes me unbelievably present in the moment? or does it just make me focus on my breath? i just feel so much closer to the earth, as i walk gently & peacefully. it is my church, my temple. it heals me on such a deep level.

then off to start the day, meeting a couple of new clients. i love working with people who have never seen a naturopathic physician before! it's so exciting and deeply gratifying to be able to share our medicine that i am so blessed to have learned.

next stop was at the convention center, to see a fellow naturopath, based out of santa monica, do a lecture. he talked about the top 5 things to do for optimal health. then after that, i stopped at border's bookstore, where tia carrerre (from wayne's world) just so happen to be performing and signing cd's. i was pretty excited about learning about her cd, mostly because of her first song that was on it. it's called aloha 'oe. that was the very first hawaiian song that i fell in love with, after watching lilo & stitch :) 'ohana means family and family never gets left behind. that was the constant theme of this disney movie.

"Aloha ʻOe (Farewell to Thee) was written by Queen Liliʻuokalani, (1838-1917,) the last reigning queen of Hawaiʻi. According to Jonathan Wong, the song was written for two lovers in 1878."

Haʻaheo ka ua i nā pali (Proudly swept the rain by the cliffs)
Ke nihi aʻela i ka nahele (As it glided through the trees)
E hahai (uhai) ana paha i ka liko (Still following ever the bud)
Pua ʻāhihi lehua o uka (The ʻāhihi lehua of the vale)

Hui: Chorus:
Aloha ʻoe, aloha ʻoe (Farewell to you, farewell to you)
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo (The charming one who dwells in the shaded bowers)
One fond embrace, (One fond embrace,)
A hoʻi aʻe au ('Ere I depart)
Until we meet again (Until we meet again)

ʻO ka haliʻa aloha i hiki mai (Sweet memories come back to me)
Ke hone aʻe nei i (Bringing fresh remembrances)
Kuʻu manawa (Of the past)
ʻO ʻoe nô kaʻu ipo aloha (Dearest one, yes, you are mine own)
A loko e hana nei (From you, true love shall never depart)

Maopopo kuʻu ʻike i ka nani (I have seen and watched your loveliness)
Nā pua rose o Maunawili (The sweet rose of Maunawili)
I laila hiaʻia nā manu (And 'tis there the birds of love dwell)
Mikiʻala i ka nani o ka lipo (And sip the honey from your lips)

~aloha oe,
soul sista'

this card indicates a readiness to enter this quality of friendliness. in the passage, you may notice that you are no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people are engaged in. it is not a loss. it is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. it is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.

first meditate, be blissful, the much love will happen of its own accord. then being wiht others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. then it is simple, too. you don't depend on others and you don't make others dependant on you. then is is always a friendship, a friendliness. it never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness.

you relate, but you don't create a marriage. marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love.

you relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. and if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say goodbye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. with no misery, with no pain, you simply separate."

we are faced with a very difficult situatioon we have a choice: we can either be resentful, and try to find somebody or something to blame for the hardships, or we can face the challenge and grow. the flower shows us the way, as its passion for life leads it out of the darkness and into the light. there is no point fighting against the challenges of life, or trying to avoid or deny them. they are there, and if the seed is to become the flower we must go through them. be courageous enought to grow into the flower you are meant to be.

the seed cannot know what is going to happen, the seed has never known the flower. and the seed cannot even believe that he hast he potentiality to become a beautiful flower. long is the journey, and it is always safer not to go on that journey because unknown is the path, nothing is guaranteed. nothing can be guaranteed. thousand and one are the hazards of the journey, many are the pitfalls-and the seed is secure, hidden insdide a hard core. but the seed tries, it makes an effort; it drops the hard shell which is its security, it starts moving. immediately the fight starts: the struggle with the soil, with the stones, with the rocks. and the seed was very hard and the sprout with be very soft and the dangers will be many.

there was no danger for the seed, the seed could have survived for millennia, but for the sprout many are the dangers. but the sprout starts towards the unknown, towards the sun, towards the source of light, not knowing where, not knowing why. great is the cross to be carried, but a dream possesses the seed and the seed moves.

the same is the path for man. it is arduous. much courage will be needed."

now back to work, seeing a couple more clients to round up the day. not bad, a combination of play and work. that's my libra tendency, gotta balance everything out :)

also, reading a great book..."soul mind body medicine", by dr. zhi gang sha. he talks about healing from the perspective of healing the soul first; then healing of the mind and body will follow. everything has a soul. from inanimate objects, to our cells, to nature... the golden keys to healing is unconditional love, forgiveness, and service. love melts all blockages. forgiveness brings peace. everyone & everything is a universal servant. a universal servant offers universal service, which include universal love, universal forgiveness, universal peace, universal healing, universal harmony, and universal enlightenment. it makes sense to me. anyway, just wanted to share a little bit of what's going on in my little world...

much love, aloha, peace, and harmony to you all!

then back at the office for a few clients, whom are so full of gratitude for my services, as i am for working with them. there's nothing better to me than contributing to world peace, through one person at a time.

i chatted with single fin, to check in on his day at work. he's a busy bee, as always. word on the street is that he's got a new short board, that's snappy as hell. good practice for indonesia, is what i say. that's why i got a shorter board, anyway. so, i've been pleading him to post something for his blogging fans. he said he would. so we'll see.

then off into the surf for some cleansing away of the day. i brought lori out with me, to float on our bianchi sea foam green board. we had such a fun time. the winds were in full speed, 10-25mph, which deters most of the surfers. yay!! we've got the whole break to ourselves. screaming, laughing, and getting thrown around left and right, like a raging bull. i love the windy days for some reason. maybe it's because of the humbling feeling i get? maybe because i can never stop laughing at myself?

afterwards, we met up with kimo & went to my now favorite vietnamese restaurant on keeaumoku street. vegetarian pho, loaded with lot of veggies, piled high with bean sprouts and basil...the aroma of anise, cinnamon, lemon grass, ginger & onion is so very nourishing to me. it reminds me of my mom's cooking, which i miss so dearly. i've been practicing my vietnamese over there. it's been really nice.

then off to straub hospital, to go visit one of our clients, who was in need of a little love. she was so happy to see us. we held her hand, hugged & kissed her, told her how she was in our prayers and how much we loved her.

and back home, settling into some of my downtime. i received a phone call from my dear friend & brother, makana from the mainland. he's such a shining star. radiating positivity and full of love deep within. if you haven't heard any of his music, i highly recommend it. check out his website at www.makanalive.com.

i'm on call for a birth right now. she's due 4th of july. i get to be the doula, labor coach, at the hospital for her. so the drill is to be open & ready for anything & not fully attached to anything that you've got planned. go with the flow... alas', isn't that how life should be? :) babies are so wise. we should listen to them.